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NBC's
"Hawai‘i" Premier |
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| The killer's name is Allah-pie
(Alapa‘i), a native practitioner of the
black art of uhna-uhna (‘anā‘anā).
He decapitates his victims on Fridays, the sacred sixth day of traditional
Hawaiian sorcerer-gangsters, with a traditional le‘o-mah-know
(lei o manō) of Klingonian heft. He deposits the first of their headless
bodies in an active East O‘ahu volcano.
This, too, fits the traditonal m.o. of our ancestors; we have it on the
authority of Allah's ex-buddy (played by American Indian actor Branscombe
"Bobby Six Killer" Richmond because competent Native Hawaiian
actors are, of course, impossible to find). We know that Brudda is a for-real
Hawaiian martial arts expert because he works-out at Valley of the Temples
and wears the instantly recognizable lua-master's outfit of black pants
and long-sleeved white shirt.
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